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Giuliani associates owned companies named ‘Scams Assurance’ and ‘Mafia Rave’

By Ellie Houghtaling

You think that somebody connected with the highest reaches of the U.S. federal government would only employ the very best individuals, not the most obvious ones.

Lev Parnas and Igor Fruman, associates of Rudy Giuliani, were caught trying to get away the country Thursday and were detained on project financing infractions But no one prepared for the outrageous business names related to the set.

Fruman was associated with a club in Ukraine called Mafia Rave, and Parnas even has an easily navigable site, noting himself as co-founder and CEO of Fraud Assurance, a fraud security company.

One of the Giuliani/Ukraine guys arrested today had a company called Scams Assurance and the other had actually a club called Mafia Rave. I am not making this up. Google it.

— Ryan Lizza (@RyanLizza) October 11, 2019

Parnas and Fruman’s comically incriminating businesses are making expert authors look like try-hards.

With real life companies having names like “Scams Assurance,” and a beach club called “Mafia Rave,” why do us authors even require to attempt to come up with imaginative names for imaginary bad guy groups or entities? https://t.co/aupbeG479 P

— Netrunner Nafees (@Deep_Diver_0) October 11, 2019

Regardless, the creatives of Twitter had a field day coming up with alternative names for the insanely goony companies.

Personally I ‘d go to Gang Fiesta over Mafia Rave

Fraud Warranty

Ripoff Guarantee

Theft Treaty

Break-in Hopes

Mafia Rave

Gang Fiesta

Bamboozlement Incorporated

— Xeni ‘Wow. Okay.’ Jardin (@xeni) October 11, 2019

That last one would make it tough to deny a quid pro quo

Names Lev Parnas rejected prior to calling his business Scams Warranty:

Criminal Offenses Made Apparent

FrontCo

Shady Motherfuckers Inc.

International Brotherhood of Money Launderers

Congressional Wholesalers, LLC

GraftMart

Simply Bribes!

Jail-mii

Like Uber, however for Wire Fraud

Quid Pro Quo Pros

— Elliott Downing (@elliott_downing) October 11, 2019

Possibly they’re just tempting us

Outright Corruption

Crime Inc.

Scam Pros LLC

The LaunderMart

Dirt Diggers LLC

Guess they were all taken, for this reason Fraud Guarantee. FRAUD ASSURANCE!! At this point they’re just fucking with us, they entirely expect us not to do anything about it. Much like with Russia. Or Stormy.

— ✪ (@RealChudi) October 11, 2019

If they nail the dance number, an a capella group could work

A PAC called “From Russia, With Love”

— Knowing (@CitizenMikeH) October 11, 2019

All of these still sound less incriminating than Scams Guarantee

Con contracts

Fraud securities

Deceit deposits

Phony insurance coverage

Shenanigan certificates

All noise like absolutely affordable and genuine services.

— Wile E. Coyote (@schroedingereqn) October 11, 2019

But nothing beats the originals

I can’t develop anything that’s funnier than the actual names

— Xeni ‘Wow. Okay.’ Jardin (@xeni) October 11, 2019

I imply, how can you take on Scams Warranty? And Mafia Rave sounds like the worst club in town. This age of politics just feels too surreal to think.

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